Alicia's Story: In The Name Of Love

GUADALAJARA, Mexico - 

What would you do in the name of love? Some people say they’d go to the end of the world, cross mountains, live in a foreign land and sacrifice everything they have - all for the one they love. Often times this is a figure of speech, but what if this literally became your reality? And the only way you could be with your soul mate?

Love at first sight. It was the closest thing to it Alicia ever felt when she set her eyes on the tall, dark and handsome Mexican waiter at a restaurant she went to one day in her town of Chambersburg, Pennsylvania. Pointing him out to her sister that sunny afternoon, she confidently informed her, "He's the only one I would ever date." Months later, by coincidence or luck of the cards, she bumped into Fabian again. This time, she mustered the courage to ask him out because she felt an "immediate click," despite at first not even knowing his name. Regardless, something inside Alicia told her she could not let this one go. Although she didn't realize it at first, she had no idea what that would truly entail and require from her part.

Fabian had the total package - the precise definition of "tall, dark and handsome." But it went beyond the exterior. Unlike other men Alicia had met and dated, he was caring, with a heart of gold; he was there for her when no one else was, and he had a genuine aura about him you could see from miles away. His smile was infectious. He was the kind of man every guy wants to hang with and every woman dreams about. He was exactly everything she ever wanted - with one minor important detail: he had been living in the U.S. as an undocumented immigrant for six months when they met.

Like most immigrants, Fabian came to America hoping to provide a better life for himself, one of great dreams and opportunities that you could not find in Mexico. Growing up in extreme poverty, food was scarce in Fabian's household - he grew up living on a lot of ground with one room, and occasionally had to pick up food off the sidewalk. Needless to say, survival was a constant struggle. Alicia, on the other hand, came from a decent Pennsylvanian middle-class family who, even though they didn't have much, never had to worry about making ends meet or having a roof over their heads. Fabian's story wasn't something that shunned Alicia away, however. She had been raised with a strong faith, and throughout her life, missionary work helped her inspire and assist other people less fortunate than her. Living her life with an open mind and an open heart, careful not to judge, but to “love God and love others” was her daily motto.

It was a given she wanted to take this new-found, solid relationship all the way, and after two years together, both Fabian and Alicia decided to marry and take the proper steps to adjust his status. Alicia - your typical all-American, blonde-haired and blue-eyed beauty - was willing to do whatever it took to be with the man she loved. Fabian quickly became a productive member of his local community; he moved up from dishwasher to manager and became beloved by all who surrounded him. So they were given some peace of mind when an immigration attorney informed them their process should be no problem at all, because of the diligent steps they had taken to ensure they were doing everything right. In reality, though, they had been misled and misinformed.

After 15 long and agonizing months of being apart, while Fabian awaited his immigration verdict in Mexico and Alicia stayed back in the U.S. holding up the fort so to speak, his residency petition came back as denied. Due to lack of proof of "severe hardship," along with the fact that her husband had entered the country illegally, Fabian automatically received a 10-year ban.  He was given 90 days to leave the country. Alicia was utterly heartbroken and devastated but she had already made up her mind - wherever he went, she was determined to go with him.

When I recently interviewed Alicia and asked why she made the decision to move with her husband to Mexico, she said the answer was simple: Marriage. "We could handle a year or two apart," she explained. "More than that was not acceptable to me. I wanted to keep my marriage together and keep the sanctity of it together."

Many people questioned why she was willing to change her whole life around for her husband. She puts it matter of factly: "He's my husband, he's a part of me." There were no ifs, ands or buts about it. Even though she admits some people around her disapproved of the relationship, her family however provided her their full support. Ultimately, she says it was her "strong belief in marriage and faith" that made her move.

So far, she's had three unique experiences in Mexico. First was on a missionary trip. The second time she found herself in the land of the burrito and enchiladas was when they went for their initial two immigration interviews. She notes that this period was extremely difficult for her because everything was up in the air, and she simply did not want to get accustomed to her unfamiliar surroundings due to warnings from her husband and his family about the dangers of venturing out by herself. Alicia admits she became fully dependent on her husband and, as a result, fell into a deep depression. However, after they received their denial notice and she returned to Mexico for the third time early this year, she came back with a very different state of mind.

Sure, she has some low days, she says. And admits it's been difficult adjusting to the insurmountable level of corruption and distrust you find in local authority on the other side of the border. Bitterness is also something that has crept into her life - including some toward the U.S. immigration system who she feels has in a way "punished" her. She has tried to fight this element of bitterness, that’s something she’s never really felt before, and hopes to eventually let it go and turn it into love instead.

"I feel like I'm being punished for doing the right thing - when I hear stories about people who lie about hardships, lie about their relationship, get psychiatrists to write stuff and suddenly, they're back in the U.S. I've learned that sometimes if you value integrity... sometimes things aren't always going to turn out well even if you do things right." She adds, "However, my values are growing a lot stronger now because I'm not willing to lie and cheat to get what I want. If I lie and cheat to other people, what would keep me from lying to my husband?"

Being a U.S. citizen, Alicia can visit home whenever she likes, but both she and her husband have 7 1/2 years left in Mexico before they can legally return to U.S. soil as a couple. "Even with all this experience I've been through," she says, "I wouldn't change anything."  That's because, she contests, God has kept her sane and given her the strength to keep pushing forward.

Despite dealing with unimaginable obstacles that you think you'd only see in the movies, Alicia acknowledges this has been a journey of self-improvement and growth. She says going through a life-changing event like this will ultimately change your character if you let it, and undoubtedly make you stronger. Not only as a person but in your relationship as well.

As it has always been in her life, Alicia's strong faith and undeterred determination are what have always guided the way and helped her see the rainbow after the storm. Many may see her as one of the bravest women they know, but to Alicia, the decision she made to move to Mexico and be with her husband was -  well, a no-brainer. It simply went along with her faith, values, beliefs and, most of all, her integrity. She made a promise to her husband on her wedding day. When she said "come what may" in her wedding vows, she meant it. Fast-forward four years and they're still going strong.

Great levels of stress and disappointment can sometimes be inevitable, but in the end it has always come down to one thing for this American girl who saw no race or color in the man she fell in love with: "If you know what you believe in, you stand for it like nothing else."

                        :: Fabian and Alicia reunited in Mexico, together, at last ::